Home Sweet Home
The boys and I went on an impromptu "vacation" while my husband was away at a conference. Actually, we all drove the majority of the way together, rented hubby a car, and sent him on his way. I was actually solo-parenting in unfamiliar territory for a 4 day stretch and managed to do it without bloodshed, Wawa coffee or Xanax. Woo-hoo! I cannot be held responsible for the grammatical errors that are likely numerous in my hasty attempt to get some "stuff" out of my head so I can sleep tonight.
My husband re-joined us for the last 2 days and loooooong drive home. All in all, it was actually a pretty good trip for us. I must give much thanks to the angels at the Nintendo corporation. The GameBoy is without a doubt, the single-most influential item in our possession. It has the power to make my 6 year old smile, cry and lose his mind all at once. It is a powerful tool of negotiation with the backseat terrorists who generally make long car rides unbearable. (Ever wonder what it would feel like to open the door and jump from a moving car? GameBoy made me stop wondering.) Really, I think we underestimate the ability of GameBoy to bring people together. Want your kids to stop asking, "Are we there yet?" Get them a GameBoy and keep new games tucked away for those trips where you anticipate you may be fantasizing about driving off the road...
I must say, going on a long car ride with me is truly an adventure. I don't know that I can say that I truly suffer from "Road Rage." It's more like Road Incredulity. You people - and you know who you are - that are content to drive 15 miles below the speed limit until someone appears to be trying to pass you -- I hate you! If you were the idiot on I-81 near Syracuse today - I have a finger or two I'd like you to see. (I would have shown you on the road, but my boys already know too many obnoxious words and gestures.) Asshole! Then, I get to see some other moron pull off the shoulder in front of us while we were doing 65-70 mph, maintaining a speed of about 45 mph in front of us while we couldn't get around them, waiting for us to pass them so they can SPEED UP, PASS US and SLOW DOWN!!! WTF?!?!? Are you people insane, stupid or just plain rude? Really. Get a clue, take a driving lesson or get the heck out of the way!
I also seemed to amuse my husband with my idea of an Intersection Guillotine. It's a simple concept really - inspired by the ignorant idiots who continue to think only of themselves, blocking intersections, creating gridlock and refusing to take any responsibilty for contributing to the problem. I think that at tricky intersections, the threat of a guillotine slamming down into your car may deter some drivers from blocking the freaking intersection. Any Philly area people? Ever try to pull out of the Wawa near the bridge in Conshohocken and make a left? Ah, the birthplace of my idea! Don't let the stoplight fool you - you're screwed if there's traffic. Don't think someone will be nice and let you in - they're too busy pretending not to notice that you've been sitting through 3 light cycles because some over-entitled RUDE people blocked the intersection!!! Where's the damned guillotine?!?!?
Other than the typical driving annoyances, a really bad motel the first 2 nights and some you-don't-wanna-know poop stories, it was a pretty good trip.
My husband re-joined us for the last 2 days and loooooong drive home. All in all, it was actually a pretty good trip for us. I must give much thanks to the angels at the Nintendo corporation. The GameBoy is without a doubt, the single-most influential item in our possession. It has the power to make my 6 year old smile, cry and lose his mind all at once. It is a powerful tool of negotiation with the backseat terrorists who generally make long car rides unbearable. (Ever wonder what it would feel like to open the door and jump from a moving car? GameBoy made me stop wondering.) Really, I think we underestimate the ability of GameBoy to bring people together. Want your kids to stop asking, "Are we there yet?" Get them a GameBoy and keep new games tucked away for those trips where you anticipate you may be fantasizing about driving off the road...
I must say, going on a long car ride with me is truly an adventure. I don't know that I can say that I truly suffer from "Road Rage." It's more like Road Incredulity. You people - and you know who you are - that are content to drive 15 miles below the speed limit until someone appears to be trying to pass you -- I hate you! If you were the idiot on I-81 near Syracuse today - I have a finger or two I'd like you to see. (I would have shown you on the road, but my boys already know too many obnoxious words and gestures.) Asshole! Then, I get to see some other moron pull off the shoulder in front of us while we were doing 65-70 mph, maintaining a speed of about 45 mph in front of us while we couldn't get around them, waiting for us to pass them so they can SPEED UP, PASS US and SLOW DOWN!!! WTF?!?!? Are you people insane, stupid or just plain rude? Really. Get a clue, take a driving lesson or get the heck out of the way!
I also seemed to amuse my husband with my idea of an Intersection Guillotine. It's a simple concept really - inspired by the ignorant idiots who continue to think only of themselves, blocking intersections, creating gridlock and refusing to take any responsibilty for contributing to the problem. I think that at tricky intersections, the threat of a guillotine slamming down into your car may deter some drivers from blocking the freaking intersection. Any Philly area people? Ever try to pull out of the Wawa near the bridge in Conshohocken and make a left? Ah, the birthplace of my idea! Don't let the stoplight fool you - you're screwed if there's traffic. Don't think someone will be nice and let you in - they're too busy pretending not to notice that you've been sitting through 3 light cycles because some over-entitled RUDE people blocked the intersection!!! Where's the damned guillotine?!?!?
Other than the typical driving annoyances, a really bad motel the first 2 nights and some you-don't-wanna-know poop stories, it was a pretty good trip.
posted by SuperMomIsDead | 11:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home