Oscar's Can-Side Grill
The Grouch can cook, I tell you!
Or at least, J thinks so. I swear - we've found the little guy munching from the trashcan more times than I care to admit. Not only that, but he will also remove things from the trash and hide them throughout the house. We've had lots of little discussions with him about this, believe me. Each time we catch him doing it, he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "But it's good."
One of his favorite snacks is dried fruit, which we generally have available in abundance. Last week, I let him have some dried mango and it was as if I had just given him the finest gourmet meal available. It was SO good, in fact, that he didn't want to put it down when he went in to use the bathroom. (pardon me while I shudder and vomit.) Anyway, I found about half of the package on the floor to the right of the toilet, right next to the bathroom wastecan. I, of course, freaked out when he picked it up and attempted to eat another piece. Tossing it into the trash, I told him (not so nicely) that we do not bring food into the bathroom and we certainly do not eat food that has been next to the toilet. (More gagging. I can't even stand thinking about it.)
A few minutes later, he appears at my side, chomping away on something. "What are you eating now, J?"
"Dried mango."
"From where?"
"From the bathroom."
Fighting an overwhelming need to vomit on the spot, I said, "YOU ARE NOT TO EAT THINGS FROM THE TRASHCAN!"
"It wasn't in the trashcan!" he insists.
"Well? Where did you get it?"
"I'll show you." He leads me by the hand, into the bathroom, crouches down on the LEFT side of the toilet, lifts up the bathroom scale and smiles up at me as he shows me his hidden stash.
WTF?!
I promise you that I do not starve my child. There are plenty of snacks within reach that are no where near trash cans OR toilets. WHY does he insist on doing this stuff? I swear it's because he knows it will COMPLETELY GROSS MOMMY OUT.
In the past 2 weeks, I've found him licking an empty popcorn bag (removed from the kitchen trash and stashed under his bed), a burrito of unknown age (at least 3 days, removed from the trash and stashed in his closet), scraping out an old yogurt container (at least it was FRESH trash!) and the crumbs at the bottom of a potato chip bag (leaving the bag in the trash can and just snacking buffet-style).
Yesterday was puke-a-palooza around here. It scared the hell out of him, too. Now, I don't have any first-hand knowledge that he ate something out of the trash in the last 48 hours that could cause this brief illness, but we certainly made him THINK his trash-stashes were at fault.
At least he gives new meaning to the term "Trash-Mouth."
Or at least, J thinks so. I swear - we've found the little guy munching from the trashcan more times than I care to admit. Not only that, but he will also remove things from the trash and hide them throughout the house. We've had lots of little discussions with him about this, believe me. Each time we catch him doing it, he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "But it's good."
One of his favorite snacks is dried fruit, which we generally have available in abundance. Last week, I let him have some dried mango and it was as if I had just given him the finest gourmet meal available. It was SO good, in fact, that he didn't want to put it down when he went in to use the bathroom. (pardon me while I shudder and vomit.) Anyway, I found about half of the package on the floor to the right of the toilet, right next to the bathroom wastecan. I, of course, freaked out when he picked it up and attempted to eat another piece. Tossing it into the trash, I told him (not so nicely) that we do not bring food into the bathroom and we certainly do not eat food that has been next to the toilet. (More gagging. I can't even stand thinking about it.)
A few minutes later, he appears at my side, chomping away on something. "What are you eating now, J?"
"Dried mango."
"From where?"
"From the bathroom."
Fighting an overwhelming need to vomit on the spot, I said, "YOU ARE NOT TO EAT THINGS FROM THE TRASHCAN!"
"It wasn't in the trashcan!" he insists.
"Well? Where did you get it?"
"I'll show you." He leads me by the hand, into the bathroom, crouches down on the LEFT side of the toilet, lifts up the bathroom scale and smiles up at me as he shows me his hidden stash.
WTF?!
I promise you that I do not starve my child. There are plenty of snacks within reach that are no where near trash cans OR toilets. WHY does he insist on doing this stuff? I swear it's because he knows it will COMPLETELY GROSS MOMMY OUT.
In the past 2 weeks, I've found him licking an empty popcorn bag (removed from the kitchen trash and stashed under his bed), a burrito of unknown age (at least 3 days, removed from the trash and stashed in his closet), scraping out an old yogurt container (at least it was FRESH trash!) and the crumbs at the bottom of a potato chip bag (leaving the bag in the trash can and just snacking buffet-style).
Yesterday was puke-a-palooza around here. It scared the hell out of him, too. Now, I don't have any first-hand knowledge that he ate something out of the trash in the last 48 hours that could cause this brief illness, but we certainly made him THINK his trash-stashes were at fault.
At least he gives new meaning to the term "Trash-Mouth."
posted by SuperMomIsDead | 6:07 PM
1 Comments:
My dear friend's husband insists that he never, ever gets sick as an adult because he regularly ate stuff off the floor of the movie theater when he was a kid. I find this so hopelessly gross *and* funny, that I hardly know what to do. His wife, however, is somewhat less amused. :) So maybe the kidlets will be healthy, strapping adults, eh?
Post a Comment
<< Home