Tis the Season
The gifts are purchased, wrapped and ready to be distributed to the greedy little children I love so dearly. I make it a point to have all of my Christmas shopping finished by Thanksgiving. I *hate* shopping this time of year. I refuse to do it. I hate the fact that the stores have their Christmas stuff out before Halloween. At this rate, I'll soon have to get my shopping done by the 4th of July. I think the last time I went to a mall during the Christmas season was while I was pregnant with P - and he'll be 7 in February. I remember getting pushed by an extremely rude and nasty sonofabitch who damn near knocked me to the ground. Nothing says, "Merry Christmas!" like assaulting a pregnant woman. Jackass. Long live internet shopping!
My family has a lot of little traditions for the holidays. Sure, we have the food, the gatherings, and the gifts, but it always amazes me how the same cycle of crap repeats itself every year, too. Every family has it's whackos, I guess. And why is it that my children's behavior seems to go downhill this time of year? You'd think with all of my threats to tell Santa, they'd show a little glimmer of fear. Not so.
My mom has been telling me all along that all of her children went completely bonkers between Halloween and New Years. I found that rather difficult to believe, what with me being the perfect child and all. She even went so far (at the urging of my dad, she claims) as to hide the Christmas presents one year. When my brother and I came downstairs on Christmas morning, there was *nothing* under the tree. NOTHING. My dad made us wait for *hours* before he "found" them tucked under a blanket. Funny thing was, the blanket was right next to the tree and we never even suspected they were tricking us. Oh how he laughed... Think we learned our lesson? Of course not.
J has taken to screaming for every. little. thing. Not just crying and whining, either. The fact that there is still glass in our windows is astounding to me. He has this unique ability to get his shriek to the exact tone that triggers every pain sensor in my brain. He's become my very own shock therapy treatment - and he's completely portable, too. He is bound and determined to be the child who causes my complete undoing.
P lost his first tooth last week. I'm completely out of the loop on this tooth fairy thing, I must admit. What exactly is the going rate for teeth these days? I was tempted to skip the money and stick a toothbrush under there with a threatening note about tooth decay and gum disease. I think it's kind of weird to pay for body parts that fall off, but who am I to break with tradition? Is there some kind of clause that allows me to get my money back should the adult teeth develop cavities? How about a repayment plan for any needed orthodontics?
My family has a lot of little traditions for the holidays. Sure, we have the food, the gatherings, and the gifts, but it always amazes me how the same cycle of crap repeats itself every year, too. Every family has it's whackos, I guess. And why is it that my children's behavior seems to go downhill this time of year? You'd think with all of my threats to tell Santa, they'd show a little glimmer of fear. Not so.
My mom has been telling me all along that all of her children went completely bonkers between Halloween and New Years. I found that rather difficult to believe, what with me being the perfect child and all. She even went so far (at the urging of my dad, she claims) as to hide the Christmas presents one year. When my brother and I came downstairs on Christmas morning, there was *nothing* under the tree. NOTHING. My dad made us wait for *hours* before he "found" them tucked under a blanket. Funny thing was, the blanket was right next to the tree and we never even suspected they were tricking us. Oh how he laughed... Think we learned our lesson? Of course not.
J has taken to screaming for every. little. thing. Not just crying and whining, either. The fact that there is still glass in our windows is astounding to me. He has this unique ability to get his shriek to the exact tone that triggers every pain sensor in my brain. He's become my very own shock therapy treatment - and he's completely portable, too. He is bound and determined to be the child who causes my complete undoing.
P lost his first tooth last week. I'm completely out of the loop on this tooth fairy thing, I must admit. What exactly is the going rate for teeth these days? I was tempted to skip the money and stick a toothbrush under there with a threatening note about tooth decay and gum disease. I think it's kind of weird to pay for body parts that fall off, but who am I to break with tradition? Is there some kind of clause that allows me to get my money back should the adult teeth develop cavities? How about a repayment plan for any needed orthodontics?
posted by SuperMomIsDead | 11:10 PM
4 Comments:
When my grandson lost his first tooth, the tooth fairy left $5.00.
When my son told the guys at work about it, they scolded him and told him he was setting a precedent that would could far- reaching effects for all parents.
I received a quarter per tooth, but then I'm old. Allowing for inflation, my sons received $.50.
I would guess the going rate is now $1.00.
My son cannot wait to lose his first tooth. I'm pretty sure that has lots to do with the tooth fairy LOL
Maybe because we don't have Thanksgiving, our kids don't have that run down to Christmas and don't act out too much but I haven't noticed that their behaviour got too bad LOL
Hi SMisD! Got drawn to you by your name. Love it! Had a great time reading through.
I'll ask my dental school husband what today's tooth value is. I expect it's outrageous!
I'm with you. I'm shopping at home this year. Mean man pushing over a pregnant woman! Tsk. Of course, my gifts have that detached look about them...obvious my hands never touched them as they are beautifully wrapped, delivered on time, and have a lovely typed message--all so organized! Look, family, if you leave it up to me to do all that extra stuff, it's just not gonna get there before New Year's!
*Golly, those flickr kids are cuties.
:) I hate shopping this time of year too. I have resorted to buying things online instead of going to the damn mall. Who wants to be assaulted? or pick pocketed - tis the season!
My nephew got $5.00 for his tooth. Back when I was loosing teeth I got a quarter. Inflation or Insanity? I vote the latter.
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