Searches, Snores and Sarcasm
I'm fairly certain that I'm on my way to becoming the smartest person in the world.
Lately, I've acquired an amazing amount of new information. Really - it's just astonishing how much I know. Go ahead. Hate me. I'll add researching human emotions to my list of Google searches.
You may wonder how I could be so sure of my upcoming superior intelligence. It's simple really. Most of you are wasting precious study time by actually *sleeping* at night. Not me! I'm acquiring the answers to life's questions one search engine at a time. Why, last night alone I managed to identify all of the trees and foliage on our property *and* figure out what type of infestation I had in one of my flower beds.
My studying is not only increasing my brainpower - it's preventing crime, too! Really! It's true!
Last night, as I lay in bed listening to my husband's unconscious rendition of a jackhammer, I was stricken with an overwhelming desire to smother him. Luckily, when you hit the 3rd straight day of less than 4 hours of sleep, inanimate objects start to speak to you. While I was fluffing up the pillow, I heard my computer calling my name, urging me to reconsider. So, thank you Apple. Thank you Google. Because of you, I'll avoid The Big House a bit longer.
Lately, I've acquired an amazing amount of new information. Really - it's just astonishing how much I know. Go ahead. Hate me. I'll add researching human emotions to my list of Google searches.
You may wonder how I could be so sure of my upcoming superior intelligence. It's simple really. Most of you are wasting precious study time by actually *sleeping* at night. Not me! I'm acquiring the answers to life's questions one search engine at a time. Why, last night alone I managed to identify all of the trees and foliage on our property *and* figure out what type of infestation I had in one of my flower beds.
My studying is not only increasing my brainpower - it's preventing crime, too! Really! It's true!
Last night, as I lay in bed listening to my husband's unconscious rendition of a jackhammer, I was stricken with an overwhelming desire to smother him. Luckily, when you hit the 3rd straight day of less than 4 hours of sleep, inanimate objects start to speak to you. While I was fluffing up the pillow, I heard my computer calling my name, urging me to reconsider. So, thank you Apple. Thank you Google. Because of you, I'll avoid The Big House a bit longer.
posted by SuperMomIsDead | 10:56 PM
1 Comments:
Could you use all of your smartness, and tell me how to get my adult family to get behind me in parenting. I think I like the pillow thing,,,,,:)
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