Tis the Season
The gifts are purchased, wrapped and ready to be distributed to the greedy little children I love so dearly. I make it a point to have all of my Christmas shopping finished by Thanksgiving. I *hate* shopping this time of year. I refuse to do it. I hate the fact that the stores have their Christmas stuff out before Halloween. At this rate, I'll soon have to get my shopping done by the 4th of July. I think the last time I went to a mall during the Christmas season was while I was pregnant with P - and he'll be 7 in February. I remember getting pushed by an extremely rude and nasty sonofabitch who damn near knocked me to the ground. Nothing says, "Merry Christmas!" like assaulting a pregnant woman. Jackass. Long live internet shopping!
My family has a lot of little traditions for the holidays. Sure, we have the food, the gatherings, and the gifts, but it always amazes me how the same cycle of crap repeats itself every year, too. Every family has it's whackos, I guess. And why is it that my children's behavior seems to go downhill this time of year? You'd think with all of my threats to tell Santa, they'd show a little glimmer of fear. Not so.
My mom has been telling me all along that all of her children went completely bonkers between Halloween and New Years. I found that rather difficult to believe, what with me being the perfect child and all. She even went so far (at the urging of my dad, she claims) as to hide the Christmas presents one year. When my brother and I came downstairs on Christmas morning, there was *nothing* under the tree. NOTHING. My dad made us wait for *hours* before he "found" them tucked under a blanket. Funny thing was, the blanket was right next to the tree and we never even suspected they were tricking us. Oh how he laughed... Think we learned our lesson? Of course not.
J has taken to screaming for every. little. thing. Not just crying and whining, either. The fact that there is still glass in our windows is astounding to me. He has this unique ability to get his shriek to the exact tone that triggers every pain sensor in my brain. He's become my very own shock therapy treatment - and he's completely portable, too. He is bound and determined to be the child who causes my complete undoing.
P lost his first tooth last week. I'm completely out of the loop on this tooth fairy thing, I must admit. What exactly is the going rate for teeth these days? I was tempted to skip the money and stick a toothbrush under there with a threatening note about tooth decay and gum disease. I think it's kind of weird to pay for body parts that fall off, but who am I to break with tradition? Is there some kind of clause that allows me to get my money back should the adult teeth develop cavities? How about a repayment plan for any needed orthodontics?
My family has a lot of little traditions for the holidays. Sure, we have the food, the gatherings, and the gifts, but it always amazes me how the same cycle of crap repeats itself every year, too. Every family has it's whackos, I guess. And why is it that my children's behavior seems to go downhill this time of year? You'd think with all of my threats to tell Santa, they'd show a little glimmer of fear. Not so.
My mom has been telling me all along that all of her children went completely bonkers between Halloween and New Years. I found that rather difficult to believe, what with me being the perfect child and all. She even went so far (at the urging of my dad, she claims) as to hide the Christmas presents one year. When my brother and I came downstairs on Christmas morning, there was *nothing* under the tree. NOTHING. My dad made us wait for *hours* before he "found" them tucked under a blanket. Funny thing was, the blanket was right next to the tree and we never even suspected they were tricking us. Oh how he laughed... Think we learned our lesson? Of course not.
J has taken to screaming for every. little. thing. Not just crying and whining, either. The fact that there is still glass in our windows is astounding to me. He has this unique ability to get his shriek to the exact tone that triggers every pain sensor in my brain. He's become my very own shock therapy treatment - and he's completely portable, too. He is bound and determined to be the child who causes my complete undoing.
P lost his first tooth last week. I'm completely out of the loop on this tooth fairy thing, I must admit. What exactly is the going rate for teeth these days? I was tempted to skip the money and stick a toothbrush under there with a threatening note about tooth decay and gum disease. I think it's kind of weird to pay for body parts that fall off, but who am I to break with tradition? Is there some kind of clause that allows me to get my money back should the adult teeth develop cavities? How about a repayment plan for any needed orthodontics?
posted by SuperMomIsDead | 11:10 PM
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