You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Time for home-based boot camp.

My 6 year old is developing quite a little attitude problem these days. There are few things that make me crazier than having this little snot glaring at me while he mouths off. The part that really gets me is that he really has no good reason for doing it. I'm pretty big on choosing my battles, but I do enforce our rules with consistent discipline and consequences. Just once, I'd like, "Because I'm your mother and I said so!" to be enough. I guess I should be thrilled that it still works with his little brother!

We've warned him - several times - that life as he knows it will drastically change if he continues to be so disrespectful to me. Tomorrow is the day. This poor kid isn't going to know what hit him. If it requires a battery or electricity, it's going to be off limits. In fact, if I can figure out a way to keep him out of the playroom completely, I'll do it. No TV, no GameBoy, no computer, no play dates. If I still don't see improvement, our weekly group park days are next on the chopping block. The big guns? T-Ball.

Fortunately, he won't be bored. I have plenty of things that need to be done around the house and lots of magazines that have piled up while I've been doing everything else. I think maybe it's time I caught up on some reading while I delegate some of my chores to the little smart ass. If only he was old enough to do the grocery shopping...

Mommie Dearest

This could very well be my next selection for family movie night. That'll scare them.

I seem to have this morbid fascination with this movie. Every time I catch a glimpse of it while flipping channels, I find myself watching the rest of the movie. I know how it ends. I practically know it by heart. Yet, there's something that keeps me in front of the TV, just waiting for Christina's hair cut, beating, bathroom scrubbing and near strangulation. How messed up is that?

Oh - and I challenge you to find a wire hanger that isn't fresh from my dry cleaner. :)

I'm hoping I don't have some weird subconscious desire to become Mommie Dearest myself. Hmmm... I wonder if, "NO GRAPE JUICE ON THE SOFA!!!!!!!!" will ever come back to haunt me in some scandalous expose written by one of my children. Hell, I already hacked up our rose bushes this year...

The Little Things

I've spent most of today trying to pinpoint exactly what makes me feel like a complete lunatic. The fact of the matter is, I don't have a clue. I just can't believe that little everyday annoyances can spark such a foul mood that lasts all day (uh, or week, for that matter). Why is it that I can recognize that I'm being irrational or just plain bitchy, but I can't seem to knock it the hell off? I was doing ok for a bit, but yesterday and today have been absolutely dreadful.

I'm also just begging for the foul moods, as I seem to bite off more than I can chew to overcompensate for feeling like such a complete shit. When I can't deliver my promises or meet my obligations, I get pissier. Then the foul mood takes over and the whole thing starts all over again.

To top it off, we're attempting to potty train the little guy. Let's just say, it hasn't been easy. He actually pees every five minutes. Literally. Just a few drops - but pee occurs every. five. minutes. It's absolutely maddening. He gets the whole concept and goes through the motions quite well - but if this frequency keeps up, we're going to have to hire someone just to escort him to and from the bathroom. Then there's the clean up of the "misses" to take into account...

The other "little thing" that's really pushing my buttons this week is that my 6 year old has developed quite a disrespectful little mouth. We don't do corporal punishment, but boy does he make me re-evaluate that decision on a regular basis. If I would have looked my mother in the eye and said, "NO!" when she asked me to do something, I would have forgotten what the sun looked like by the time I resurfaced. We've generally been giving warnings (once per negative behavior) followed by timeouts, but his mouth has gotten so bad that we've started to skip the warning. I wonder what my neighbors think when they hear my son crying and yelling, "I hate zero tolerance! I hate zero tolerance!" To make it even more joyful, he's got a few sensory issues that send him w-a-a-ay over the edge if we attempt to touch him in any way - to escort him to timeout, put him in his room, etc. He screams like he's being beaten and I'm certain our neighbors suspect us of performing ritualistic torture on the kid. His screams could break glass, I swear.

So, just when I think I can't take it anymore, I tuck the little monsters into their beds, and I get my kisses and hugs. Then, my little guy, the Master of Disaster himself, throws his arms around my neck, kisses my cheek and says, "Mom. I really, really love you."

Yeah. It's the little things.

My children are driving me insane

Yeah. No news there.

It my latest attempt at selfishness, I tried to steal five minutes to check email. I really should know better by now. Not 30 seconds later, the 6 year old comes in to say, "Mom? J's got broken glass all over his bed."

WTF?!

So I jump up to check and sure enough, there's my little demon (almost 3), squatting at the end of the bed with glass shards all around him. Where did he get it? He disassembled his night light and smashed the bulb of course.

No blood - but now I get to re-wash his bedding and hope there aren't any little pieces jammed into his pillow.